Forcing your way into a cliquey social circle can be an agonizing experience, especially when the snubbing is seemingly intentional. The question on everyone's mind: how do you avoid feeling like a perpetual outcast?
The advice may not come as a surprise: simply invite yourself to these exclusive gatherings. But Miss Manners offers a more nuanced perspective. Rather than viewing it as an act of exclusion, consider your neighbors' social habits and the fact that they have formed friendships with others.
Instead of waiting for the invitation, take the initiative by striking up conversations in common areas like lobbies or elevators, where people tend to congregate. You could also join a club or group activity, such as a book club, sports team, or bridge game, to meet new people who share similar interests.
It's essential to remember that cliques often form organically over time, rather than being deliberately exclusionary. By showing genuine interest and taking the lead in making connections, you can gradually build relationships with your neighbors.
For those on the periphery of a social circle, sending gifts or attending milestone events can be a thoughtful gesture. However, it's crucial to consider the timing and nature of the gift. A token present with congratulations when the baby is born may be an acceptable way to connect with someone you've lost touch with, rather than an invitation to an exclusive gathering.
Ultimately, building relationships takes time and effort. By being proactive, showing genuine interest in others, and respecting social boundaries, you can navigate even the most cliquey of communities without feeling like a perpetual outsider.
The advice may not come as a surprise: simply invite yourself to these exclusive gatherings. But Miss Manners offers a more nuanced perspective. Rather than viewing it as an act of exclusion, consider your neighbors' social habits and the fact that they have formed friendships with others.
Instead of waiting for the invitation, take the initiative by striking up conversations in common areas like lobbies or elevators, where people tend to congregate. You could also join a club or group activity, such as a book club, sports team, or bridge game, to meet new people who share similar interests.
It's essential to remember that cliques often form organically over time, rather than being deliberately exclusionary. By showing genuine interest and taking the lead in making connections, you can gradually build relationships with your neighbors.
For those on the periphery of a social circle, sending gifts or attending milestone events can be a thoughtful gesture. However, it's crucial to consider the timing and nature of the gift. A token present with congratulations when the baby is born may be an acceptable way to connect with someone you've lost touch with, rather than an invitation to an exclusive gathering.
Ultimately, building relationships takes time and effort. By being proactive, showing genuine interest in others, and respecting social boundaries, you can navigate even the most cliquey of communities without feeling like a perpetual outsider.
... is that just a way to avoid vulnerability? Like, are we really comfortable with being seen as awkward or trying too hard when we're approaching someone who doesn't know us well? 
And what about people who genuinely can't receive invitations due to work or life circumstances? It feels like there's an expectation that everyone has the same level of access and energy to socialize. 
Can't we just take a step back and acknowledge that some people will always be on the periphery, without feeling like we need to force our way in?
... I was at this party last weekend and I saw a group of people laughing & having a blast... but when I tried to join in they just kinda stopped talking to me like I was some kind of weirdo 
. It's like they have these little cliques and you're just supposed to know who's "in" and who's not... but honestly I think it's super annoying 
.
. But other times they just ignore me or make small talk without really talking to me 
. Anyway just wanted to vent a bit & say I feel u guys 
.
But hey, if you're the type of person who wants to play along with this charade, go ahead and try to be friends with your "neighbors". Just don't say I didn't warn you when they start snubbing you behind your back. 
. Building relationships takes time and effort, I feel like it's the same as trying to get that one friend in school who's always busy with their friends 
.
another study shows that people are only at their happiest for 3-4 years after graduating lol what a lie 
.
anyway, i think its so easy to get the wrong idea about cliques... my friends and i we used to be part of this group in college and then like 2 people left and suddenly we were 'outcasts' but really they just moved away lol now we're all super close bc we went out of our way to stay in touch 
... everyone's always talking about "taking initiative" and "showing genuine interest"... aren't those just fancy ways of saying "don't be awkward and try to fit in"? 
Anyway, I guess the key is not to take it personally when people don't respond right away. Like, remember when Myspace was all the rage? We used to think that connecting with someone online meant they were somehow interested... 
Nowadays, it's more about being considerate of people's boundaries and just being yourself.
Did you know that 75% of people feel left out when they're not invited to exclusive gatherings? And 60% of us would rather join a group or club than try to force our way into an already established circle 
And then there's the gift-giving stats - did you know that 85% of people prefer a thoughtful gesture over an invitation? 
. But honestly, just take the initiative and start reaching out 
. Don't wait for someone to invite you over or something 
. Join a group that aligns with your interests and strike up conversations with people in common areas 
. It's all about being genuine and showing interest in others 
!